Leader in reflection, seeking direction after a crisis. leader fails: 4 steps to navigate the chaos title card — Photo by Tim Bogdanov on Unsplash

The kidmin world was rocked last week with the news from Orange. Another leader has failed, and we’re left wondering what happened and what will happen. I usually don’t say anything when this kind of news breaks, but if you’ve followed any of my content you know I’ve been a fan of Orange for years and have recommended their content over and over. I feel I need to share my thoughts.

I am talking about their failure, but I’m also not talking about it either. Their tragic story is far too common in the church world. I know because it happened to me.

A few years after I left my ministry college, the director had a moral failure. It was devastating to those of us in and around the organization and the church. The hurt, anger, and desire for all the juicy details are undeniable.

However, now almost 20 years removed, I have gained perspective. When I hear news about another leader who has failed, I follow these 4 steps to get through it.

1. The News is devastating for EVERYONE

Whenever I hear this kind of news my first thought is how sad. Well, that’s not entirely true. My first inclination is to find out exactly what happened. Then I feel for the family. One thing I’ve learned is that the closer you are to the leader, the deeper the devastation. For example, when the news of Bill Hybels broke, I was saddened but moved on with my day. When the news of my college director broke, it took days and weeks to process.

But those are only relationships at a distance. For the family, it is far worse with ongoing, lifelong consequences. Many times, these lead to divorce, addictions, and sometimes suicide. It’s calamitous for everyone, but mostly for those closest to the leader. So, before you share your opinion about that leader on social media, take some time to consider the family. They’re hurting and questioning and need lots of prayer. Pray for their families. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for repentance. Pray for reconciliation. Sin destroys lives and families. Expressing your opinion, especially a negative one, doesn’t help anyone.

2. Avoid the rumor mill

When news like this breaks there is always a lot of chatter. People are quick to make assumptions and share their thoughts whether they are based in fact or not. We are naturally curious and are attracted to bad news. So, just like a car accident, we can’t help but slow down and look.

But looking is one thing, dwelling is another. Unless you’re a part of the family or directly involved in the situation, you don’t need to know all the details. Who, when, and where won’t help you or the parties involved get through this tragedy.

I’m reminded of what Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

When the bad news broke about Orange, I saw it first in a Facebook group. I skimmed through the comments to find the truth. Once I found the official letter, that was it. I didn’t need to know anything else. Yes, I wondered about who, how, when, and what’s next, but wondering and asking are two different things. Getting that information would just be gossip. It doesn’t really affect me and won’t help me build up or encourage anyone. So, I left it alone.

In the times when I did discover all those details, it didn’t help. It just deepened the pain. It’s not worth it. Leave it alone.

3. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water

In today’s cancel culture, it’s so easy to throw out everything that failed leader created as tainted. It’s natural to question its merit. Nevertheless, part of the reason you’re hearing about this leader is because they added value to a great many people before their failing.

My college director who failed was a close, personal mentor. He helped me make some of the biggest decisions of my life and set me on my career path. I still quote some of the wisdom he imparted to me over the three years I studied under him. Do I ignore all of that because he had an affair? Does that mean that everything he said was a lie?

No…it doesn’t. The wisdom he imparted still holds true and is valuable today. Rejecting everything he did is unwise.

Let’s look at a Biblical example. What David did with Bathsheba and Uriah is inexcusable. In today’s culture, everything he ever wrote and did would be trashed because of his failure. And yet, he’s still known as a man after God’s own heart. I read one of his Psalms just this morning.

Not one of us is perfect. We all have sinned. But because of Jesus, we are forgiven. What our failed leaders have done is horrible, but not everything. There is still value in what they produced.

4. Give it time

One benefit we have in David’s story is perspective. We know how his story played out with the good and bad of his legacy. When the news breaks of a leader’s failings we don’t have that perspective. There hasn’t been enough time to understand what happened and see how the leader will respond. Some leaders will double down, not repent, and pick back up where they left off somewhere else just to repeat the same mistakes. Others will repent, go through a reconciliation process and are able to find life and ministry again. I’m thinking of several leaders as I write this, I’m sure you’re doing the same.

When we’re hurt, it’s hard to see the big picture. We can only see what’s right in front of us. It’s never wise to make any major decisions when we’re in this state. So, give it time, pray, and gain perspective. Trust that God knows what’s happened and is working in and through all the parties involved. You will probably never know the whole story here or on the other side of eternity. And you don’t need to. Be faithful with what you have. Learn from their mistakes. Do whatever you can to finish well. Run your race to win the prize.

It's never easy when a leader fails. It hurts. There’re always more questions than answers. But we’ll be judged on how we respond. The further away you are from the person, the less you can do. In most situations the best thing you can do is pray for them and their families. Most likely, they’re hurting far more than you and need your support.

Let’s follow Jesus’ command:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Jesus loved you in your sin. Go and do likewise.

On Sunday, disaster struck my church. We had a huge storm blow through, and the power was out for several miles around the church. The power company said the power would be on at 10:45, 15 minutes after our start time. Then it was 11:45. Then 4pm. I got the news as I pulled into the parking lot at 9:30am.