4 Steps to Rediscover Hope and Rebuild Faith After Ministry
Last year, I lost my ministry job. The subsequent 6 months have been some of the hardest months of my life. But now looking back I see it was also a gift.
Let me show you what I mean.
For the first time in 15 years, I wasn’t a professional Christian. I didn’t have a job in ministry, and I became like everyone else. I realized that there was nothing holding me to the spiritual practices that I had professed for years. I didn’t have to read and study my Bible, because I didn’t have a lesson to prepare. I didn’t have to pray or go to 21 Days of Prayer, because my job didn’t require it. I didn’t have to listen to and sing along to the music, because no one was looking at me. I didn’t have to join a group or serve, because I was just another person in the crowd.
Just before 40, I was given a glimpse of what retirement would look like and the gift of rediscovering who I am in Christ.
My favorite thing to tell new pastors is the most important thing in your life is your relationship with Jesus. You loved him before you did this thing, and you should still love him when it’s all over. There were some days when it felt like it was over for me. I didn’t have a service to plan, a staff meeting to attend, a social media post to make, or a group to lead. I hoped that that wouldn’t last forever, but for months it did.
And yet, even though no one expected anything from me, I still did it. I prayed. I studied, I worshipped, I joined a community. I discovered who I was outside of my ministry. I wasn’t Pastor David anymore. I was just David, the one who loves and is loved by Jesus. I discovered my deep love and affection for Jesus. I found the value of all these spiritual disciplines without all the expectations that were placed upon me, real or imagined.
I’m no expert in this. I’m still figuring it all out, but if and when you find yourself no longer in ministry, here is what I suggest you do.
1. Rest and Reset
About two weeks into my forced sabbatical, I was offered an interim pastor position at a tiny church over three hours away. I was so desperate to get back into “the work” that I accepted it on the spot. When I called my wife after, she wasn’t happy. The logistics just wouldn’t work for our family An hour after I accepted, I called them back and sheepishly declined. I felt horrible, but it was the right decision.
When we first take a break, especially if we’re not expecting it, our first inclination is to get right back into it. But if you’ve been hurt, then you need to take time to rest, reset, and heal. It was a full 3 months before I could attend service without weeping. It was 5 months before I was able to think about the ones that hurt me without wanting to punch them in the face. I needed that time to work through my junk.
Take some time, go to counseling, journal, meet with old friends, grieve, celebrate. Pick up old hobbies that you left behind. Find a new one. I started learning how to play guitar. I’m not good by any means but playing Silent Night and singing along was a spiritual experience.
2. Find a place to belong
Social scientists say that everyone has three places they belong. For most people, that’s home, work, and a social place like church. The hard part about ministry is that your life can be all three in one. If you live in a parsonage, your home, your friends, and your work are all rolled into one. If you lose that, what are you supposed to do?
You have to find it all again.
Thankfully, we didn’t live in a parsonage, so we didn’t have to move, but in one day all the social and spiritual plans went out the window. We needed a new place. My natural tendency is to jump right in and start serving. Because my parents volunteered heavily, I’ve been serving in church in some capacity for as long as I can remember. I was running sound every week at 12 and part of the mainstage at VBS as soon as I was old enough. I didn’t know how to just sit and receive, but that’s what I needed. So, for the first time in our lives my wife and I church shopped. We visited just about every Assemblies of God church in the area until we found one that fit us. Thankfully the staff at our new home church knew what happened and let us hide in the crowd. I’m forever thankful for their love, care and support.
Because you’ve lost your social connections, you need to find new ones and church is a great place to start. So go find a church and after you’ve sat for a while, join a group or serve on a team. Just make yourself available. I’ve never been on the worship team before, but I was heavily considering it. Don’t be afraid to try something new you weren’t able to do before. You may love it.
3. Keep up your practices
There’s an old MercyMe song titled Keep Singing.
It says
Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I want to do is walk out of this placeBut when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it throughI gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
You’re the one that's keeping my heart beatingI gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healingCan I climb up in Your lap
I don't want to leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing
This song has got me through a lot of tough times, including this one. Jesus is your forever friend. You loved him before the ministry. You can love him now that it’s over. So, keep up your relationship you’ve spent years cultivating.
Over the months, I still read my Bible every day. I worship every day. I pray every day. As time went on, I discovered I was doing it more. I was going deeper. I was slowing down. Instead of saying a quick prayer, I spent time with Jesus. Instead of zipping through my reading, I hung on to every word. Instead of music in the background, I let God speak to me and found hope and healing. I discovered who I was in Christ outside of the ministry, something I’d lost since high school.
So, whatever your disciplines are, keep doing them. You have time now. Find more, dive deeper, spend longer. Jim Wideman once told me that you should be closer to Christ now than ever before and if you’re not, then whose fault is that? Take this time to get closer to God and discover just how deep and wide and great His love is for you. Not because of what you do, but simply because you are his child.
“You should be closer to Christ now than ever before and if you’re not, then who’s fault is that? ”
4. Rediscover your passion
I love systems, strategies, marketing, and content creation. I’m good at it. I get excited when I find a broken system and I can fix it. That’s what ministry became for me. I fixed things. I implemented systems. I created and delivered content. But I lost the heart of why. If you asked me, I would have said the Great Commission, but that would have been lip service.
On one of my runs, the song Talking to Jesus by Elevation Worship and Maverick City popped up in my playlist. It tells the story of how Brandon Lake (the lead vocalist and songwriter) started praying because of his mom then later he started leading his son in prayer. The chorus says over and over “What a friend we have in Jesus!”
As I listened to those words, I was reminded of Rick Warren’s father who, on his death bed, kept getting out saying, “one more for Jesus.” I heard God speak to me there. He said that’s the focus. That’s the heart. That’s why you do what you do. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to run while crying, but it’s not easy. Breathing is an issue.
Take this time to rediscover your passion. Why did you get into ministry in the first place? Why did you stay so long? Why do you continue to serve Jesus? Why do you continue to spread the Gospel even though it may look different now? Take some time to pray and listen to what God has to say. And, after your time of rest and healing is over, maybe a new venture will open for you.
I’m still praying and looking for a senior pastor position, but I’m following Jesus and trying win one more. Just this morning I was praying for and speaking to an atheist who commented on one of my YouTube videos. I pray that one day he rethinks his position.
This week, I’m going back into church work. I’m the new part time Executive Pastor at Christ Chapel East. I’m here for as long as God wants me. I also re-certified as a math teacher. and I’m teaching full time as a long term sub at a local high school. If you’d ask me if I would be doing this six months ago, I would have laughed in your face. This is not the journey I would have chosen, but I’m so glad God knows better than me.
He knows better than you do too. Trust him. He will lead you to the path forward.
““The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.””
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As you’re leaving, you need to also think about the person that’s coming behind you. Will they be able to pick up where you leave off? Will they have access to the necessary resources, websites, social media profiles and more? Will they know who their volunteers are and where they like to serve?