When You Feel Like It's Time to Go and What to Do About It
Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash
I’ve served at 4 different churches and deciding when it’s time to go is never an easy decision. Serving in ministry, we feel called to the city, the church, the people, and now that time may be coming to an end. For some, it’s like being hit by a Mack truck, others it’s a slow burn or something in between.
Whatever it is, for better or worse, there will come a time for you to say goodbye. We are all itinerant ministers. There was probably someone before you, and there will most likely be someone after you. Even if you serve for 50 years in the same place, time and people move on.
But how do you know when it’s time to move on? How do you know it’s a prompting from God and not your emotions getting the better of you?
There are no simple solutions, and every situation is different. I know because the reason I’ve moved from each church has been for vastly different reasons. The list I’m giving isn’t exhaustive, but rather created from personal experience and stories from others.
Ministry is hard and moving to another place may be the hardest thing you have to do. But it is part of life and part of our call. Every reason I list in this post is not the final reason to go. It can just be a reason. Ultimately it comes down to what God is calling you to.
Here’s 5 reasons why you may feel like it’s time to move on and what to do about it.
1. You may be tired and need a break.
I said it before, but it bears repeating. Ministry is hard. You’re with people in their highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. Add to that long hours and crushing expectations, it can become unbearable. It may feel like throwing your hands up and quitting is the best step to take.
And it may be.
Or maybe you need to take a break.
I’ve been guilty of biting off more than I can chew more than once. I feel like I can handle the new responsibilities and maintain the same excellence and care I’ve always done. Then 6 months later I realize I’m not superman and can’t keep it going.
Take it from someone who’s burned out in ministry two and half times (COVID was the half) that boundaries are your friend. Take a day off, spend time with Jesus, and, this may be the hardest part, say no.
I like what Carey Nieuwhof says about burnout. If you’re working at an unsustainable pace, taking a day or a week or a month won’t help you. You need to slow down the pace.
As a runner, I know this all too well. I can’t run at mile pace for 10,000 meters or even 5,000 meters. That’s why it’s called mile pace.
You can’t work 60-70 hours a week or more and be there for your church emotionally and care for your family all at the same time.
When I hit my second burnout, I had to have a very difficult conversation with my Pastor and ask for time off, but also give up some responsibilities. Thankfully, he was gracious and accommodating and got me through the final few years I was with him.
If you feel like you’re overwhelmed and need a break, log your time and look at everything you’re doing. Are there things you can delegate? Give to others? Stop doing?
Pride a lot of times comes into play here, because you can convince yourself that if you’re not there to do it then it won’t happen, and people will miss it. That may be true, but if you keep it up and burn yourself out then nothing will get done and someone else will have to pick up the pieces.
Make the sacrifice now and rest. You can read more about this in my post here.
2. When you’ve lost sight of the vision
Sometimes we can get so bogged down in doing the work of the ministry we forget to work on the ministry. As a result, we lose sight of the vision. It becomes about that next craft, the next lesson, the next event, and not about reaching people for Christ. When this happens, we begin to wonder if we’re even making a difference.
The problem is we’ve become so focused on the little things we lose sight of the big picture. Take a break for a day or a week or a month if you can swing it and refocus. Write down all the reasons you started doing this in the first place and even some new ones. Put your priorities and spiritual life back in order and ask God to revive you.
Your loss of vision may be a sign to go, but it may also be a sign you need to refocus.
A lot of times we never know the impact we make on people’s lives until long after the fact. This is especially true if you work in NextGen. Those little buggers rarely say thank you.
But they are thankful, and if you listen, they’ll tell you in a thousand little ways.
I have a framed t-shirt in my home office full of little handprints of preschoolers from church number 2. They made it for me the day I left. When I feel like I’m not making a difference, I like to look at that shirt to remind me that I am.
3. You’ve reached your lid.
What I mean by lid is your growth limit for leadership or effectiveness. You’re doing everything you can to grow and disciple the people in your ministry, but the rest of the church’s systems or even the community around you can’t support further growth.
There are days spent doing everything you can to advance the church’s mission, but you feel like you’re just spinning your tires. You have confidence that you can do more and achieve more, but something is holding you back.
If this is the case, spend time in prayer and ask for humility. It may be that you’ve grown arrogant and there’s still some things you need to learn. Maybe God has you in this place for a reason and the breakthrough is right around the corner. You’ll never know unless you stick it out.
If the realization is not based on arrogance, then maybe, God is calling you to something bigger, something harder, something more complex. Maybe it is time to move on and as you begin your search that will become clear.
4. You’re ready to move to something else.
Between Christmas and New Years of 2020, I woke up with a realization. I’m almost 40 and I don’t want to be a kids' pastor anymore. I love kids and kids’ ministry and always will, but it was in that moment I realized that my time as a kids’ pastor was at an end.
At the time, I didn’t know what that meant, and it took over a year of soul and job searching. I realized that God was leading me to a new place and a new role. Leaving kids was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Saying goodbye to those kids was hard, but I was also saying goodbye to leading day to day in a ministry I’d served in for 13 years. I was more successful than I’d ever been, and I was walking away. There were a lot of tears as that chapter closed.
I started as the NextGen coordinator and Associate Pastor at my current church, and as of this writing, I’m up for election to be the senior pastor.
It’s scary and exciting and stressful and exhilarating all at once.
You may be incredible at what you’re doing and may end up doing it for the rest of your life, but there may come a time when you have to hang it up and try something else. You may get to do that in your current context, or it may mean you have to move. Either way, follow God’s peace and he will show you the way.
5. When you’ve accomplished your mission
When you first arrive in a ministry, you’re excited for all the opportunities and potential before you. It’s a new place, new challenges, and often all new people. You get right to work doing what God called you to do thinking you’ll be doing this forever.
While you may not have a time limit on how long you’ll be there, God does.
He’s sent you to this specific place for this specific time to do a specific thing. He may or may not show you exactly what that is, but as long as you stay faithful to Him, you’ll accomplish His mission.
But there will come a time when that mission is accomplished. You’ve done everything God set in your heart to do. Yes, you can always find more to do, but the passion has waned, and you start looking for something else.
Sometimes this is where God begins a stirring inside of you and it’s time to move to a different place. He did it with Abraham, with Moses, even Jesus. He’ll do it with you too. Stay faithful, and God will show you where to go next.
Leaving is never easy, and sometimes despite your feelings, it may not be time to go. It may be time to stay, stick it out, and see what happens.
A mantra I always used in these times is something Jim Wideman said to me when I was contemplating leaving, is that it has to be good for you and for the church. If it’s not good for either party, then you need to stay.
From my own personal experience, that’s easier said than done. However, I can say I am so thankful that I stayed when it got hard. I don’t know where I’d be if it hadn’t. Maybe you should stay too.
Following God’s call isn’t easy, but the rewards are great. You can do this. God has you.
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As you’re leaving, you need to also think about the person that’s coming behind you. Will they be able to pick up where you leave off? Will they have access to the necessary resources, websites, social media profiles and more? Will they know who their volunteers are and where they like to serve?