15 Things I've Learned Over 15 Years of Ministry

Today is my 15th anniversary of vocational ministry. I owe my first job to Steve Lambert who saw potential in me and gave me a shot as a kid’s pastor. He paid for me to finish college, officiated my wedding, and gave my wife and I a place to live. I am forever thankful for his vision and generosity.

May 12 of 2008, I was full of vim and vigor. I had so many dreams and passions. I remember telling my pastor that we were going to hit the ground running, and we did.

In those first 12 weeks, I put on my first VBS with 100 kids and 50 volunteers and got married the following weekend. I can say that as the years have passed, things have not gotten any less exciting.

My wife and I have had our ups and downs just like anyone else and now on the edge of a new ministry season, we are filled with as much passion as we were all those years ago.

All that said, here are 15 things I've learned in 15 years of ministry.

1. Nothing is more important than your relationship with God.

So many of my prayers in the early days were about the church, my job, and the great need. While I still pray for things regularly, I’ve learned that God loved me before all that. He’s proud of me before I led the first song, gave the first sermon, prayed the first prayer.

When I get bogged down in volunteer issues, underperforming metrics, and staff relationships, I’m reminded that my relationship with Him is what matters more. The relationship is where I find my resilience, my passion, my confidence, and my joy.

As Solomon said in Proverbs. 

The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

If you’re in ministry, keep up your prayer and devotional life. You loved and served God before you were paid to do this, keeping your relationship with him will guarantee that you continue to love and serve when this season is over.

2. Relationships are everything.

I’m a systems guy and love things to work in predictable ways. However, as much as I want them to, people don’t work that way. 

People take care and nurturing and love. They don’t need 3 steps and go and sin no more, they need empathy, compassion and a listening ear. No matter where you serve or who you serve it’s about the people.

God loved us so much he gave his only son to die for us to have eternal life. As followers of Jesus, we have to love people as much as he did. John 3:16, 13:34-35

3. Hold people with an open hand.

As much as I’d love for everyone around me to stay forever, I’ve learned that it won’t happen. There will come a time for either one of you to move on. It hurts, but we are moving on to bigger and better things. 

The tighter we hold on to people the harder it will be for God to send us someone else and reach higher in the next season.

I wish everyone would stay, but we are all on our own paths. So, we will rejoice in this season and rejoice when the next one comes. Philippians 4:4

4. Wait on the Lord

I could write several blog posts on the times I had to wait on the Lord. I ask and beg and plead, but time and time again, I’ve learned that God’s timing is perfect, and he gives me what I need precisely when I need it.

Continue to ask God for what you need and trust that he will provide.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

5. Play the long game.

At my first Orange Conference, I was blown away at all the amazing people, places, and things. I had no idea how great a children’s ministry could be or how great an impact a church could have.

I got back to my church and was so discouraged because of all the work that needed to be done immediately to get us to where I thought we needed to be. 

However, I’ve learned to play the long game. Yes, having all those things is great, but I can’t start them all at once. So, start with one thing, get it going, and then start the next.

As you continue to grow and refine your vision, you can look back and see all the things that seemed impossible just a few years ago are now possible. You can see the providence of God as you served faithfully, and he has blessed you.

Don’t overestimate what God can do in a year or underestimate what he can do in 10.

6. Ministry is harder than you think.

Maybe because I was 23 and naïve when I started, but I thought I’d have little to no problems in ministry. I was just excited to teach kids about Jesus and reach the community that surrounded the church. 

But I learned quickly that problems come quick, fast, and hard.

Ministry is full of sleepless nights, hard conversations, deepest valleys, but also highest peaks. We can romanticize serving Jesus, but remember some of his final words to his disciples.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

7. Never stop learning.

Being a young 20 something kids pastor, I found myself in the unenviable position of leading people who were twice and sometimes triple my age. I made 1 Timothy 4:15 my life verse.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

I had a lot to learn, and I had to learn it quickly. The habits I put in place in those early years have put me where I am today. I’m sure will take me ever farther. 

There is always something new to learn. Things are always changing. You have to keep learning to adapt and continue the mission.

8. Don't let your ego get in the way.

One of my biggest and recurring sins is pride. At my worst I’m an overconfident workaholic who believes that I can and should do everything myself. The years of ministry and growing in leadership have taught me to let go and let God.

Now I can honestly say my favorite part of ministry is seeing someone’s God-given potential calling it out of them and watching them flourish. But that only happens when I get out of the way.

Put your pride and ego aside and let other people do the work. Your job as a leader is not to do the work, but to train everyone else to do the work so they can carry on when your time is over.

So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up. Ephesians 4:11-12

9. Pray, Pray, Pray

Everything you do needs to be bathed in prayer. Rick Warren says in Created to Dream that we need to pray, plan, then go. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve set out to do things where my order has been plan, pray, go or plan, go, pray or the worst plan and go, skipping prayer altogether.

God is your source of wisdom, creativity, vision, passion and everything else. He has a plan for you and the ministry in which you serve. Pray and ask him to show you the way. Trust that he will.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

10. God has you.

Life can be scary at times and ministry is no exception. I’ve had so many near misses where I look back and thank God that he protected me from disaster.

Trust that God has you. Like Jesus said

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

11. Don't regret small beginnings.

God only gives you what you can handle. Yes, he will stretch you and push you and you’ll find yourself in stressful situations. But many times, this is to prepare you for what’s next.

My first church had 35 kids on a good day. My third church had 180 kids on a good day. The systems, lessons, and decisions I made in those early days prepared me for greater ministry and impact 10 years later.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10

12. At some point this season will pass

One of the reasons I left my first church was because my senior pastor lost his 18-month cancer battle. Those were some of the darkest and most difficult days of ministry. So many days were spent wondering when there would be relief, when I would see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But one day I did. I made it through, and it didn’t kill me and I’m stronger for it.

Seasons come and seasons go, but God stays the same. Hebrews 13:8 

13. Give everything away.

Part of the reason for this blog is to share with others what I’ve learned. Some of it the hard way; some of it from mentors who invested in me and my ministry. 

Your ideas and strategies are not your own. Be generous with them and help others along the way.

I like what Andy Stanley says for his leadership podcast. He has a conversation designed for leaders to go further faster. I’m no Andy nor are you. But you can still help someone avoid the mistakes you’ve made and reach their community further faster.

14. Your passion gets things going, systems keep them running.

I’ve mentioned passion many times, and it’s vitally important, but eventually passions fade. The emotions dissipate, and you may be looking for that next big thing.

But if all you do is start things, you’ll never finish and after a while, you’re left with a mess. Go ahead and use the passion to get things started, but then build in systems to keep it going.

That way, when the passions move on to something else, the ministry will continue. While systems are sometimes tedious and time-consuming on the front end, they ultimately save you time and help you focus on the things that matter.

Don’t neglect your systems.

15. Play to your strengths recruit your weaknesses.

It was a hard day when I realized I wasn’t great at everything. I’m not Jesus, nor are you. Even Jesus had help. 

Find your strengths and play to them and minimize your weaknesses. Find other people who are passionate about the things that make your eyes glaze over and put them on your team.

Church is about community. You were never meant to do this alone. Put your ego away, find some people who are just as passionate as you are, and set them free to live out the God-given talents. Who knows what you’ll accomplish together?

Thank you to all the friends I've made over the last 15 years.  Thank you to the parents who gave me the opportunity to poor into their lives even if it was just a short time.  I'm so grateful for the salvations, baptisms, spirit baptisms, and calls into ministry.  Thank you most to my family and mostly my wife Liz.  Next to God, I couldn't have made it this far.  

When God invited me into this journey almost 24 years ago, I had no idea what it meant. But I’m so glad he did, and I can’t wait to see where we’ll go in the next 15. Amen and Amen.