3 Questions Every Guest Asks
It’s been said that a new guest makes their decision to return to your church in the first 15 minutes of their visit. That’s a small window, especially when you consider most of that 15 minutes happens before service begins.
From a children’s ministry perspective, a guest family will need to find a place to park, unload all the kids (which may include strollers, diaper bags, cups, toys, and anything else) The family is already unsure if this is going to work, and the kids may even be more unsure of what is to come.
Once the family is ready to enter the building there are multiple questions they have before they leave the safety of their car.
What door do we enter?
Where do we go from there?
Where is the bathroom?
Is the preaching good?
Is this a safe place to bring my kids?
Will they have fun?
Will they make friends?
Since we’re talking about kids, we’ll look at the last three questions.
3 Questions Every Guest Asks
1. Do they feel safe?
Safety is a huge concern for parents and we must project it from the beginning of when a guest comes onto campus. A helpful parking lot attendant and a friendly greeter can go a long way to making families feel safe before they ever make it to the kids’ area.
Many times, fear is based on uncertainty. Great signage and helpful volunteers help a family know where to go. The problem is you most likely have old eyes. You can’t see the problems because you have the curse of knowledge. To counteract this do a practice run and put yourself in a guest’s shoes. Start from pulling into your campus to dropping them off in the kids area and make sure guests can find where to go just by signage.
While walking through, ask these questions:
Are the signs big and easy to see?
Are they clear of church jargon or have explanations for what you call things?
Are there intersections without signs? Do the signs make it clear where I want to go?
If the signage is not up to par, consider replacing or upgrading the current signage. Also, post a volunteer greeter at key confusion points to answer questions and point guests in the right direction.
Once a family finds the children’s area, having a secure check-in system and closed area for kids to go communicates your care. Many digital check-in systems have a name tag for the kid and a security tag for the parent. Assure the parent that no one comes in without being background checked or a personal escort and no one will be able to pick up their kid without the tag.
Then, and this is important, follow through on your promise.
When parents come to pick up check their tags and then call the kid. It’s easy to expedite the process and just call the kid, but this sends the signal that the security tags don’t matter, and anyone can pick up their kids. It doesn’t matter if the parent is the pastor, your guests may not know that.
No. exceptions.
Another word about safety. Make sure men and women are represented in your volunteer base. Children’s ministry is full of women and that’s fine. However, representation of both genders will help parents feel safe about leaving their kids with you, especially in the older grades.
One time, I had a new guest family come to my church. Through a bunch of weird circumstances, the parents walked the length of the children’s building and only saw men. Check-in, elementary, nursery, and finally preschool. All men. There were women in the building, but they were out of sight. The family stayed for 15 minutes before they came back to get their kids.
A greeter told me later that the family asked them if any women worked in children’s ministry. It was weird and never happened again, but in today’s culture, not surprising. Have men and women serving together. You can have all women, but all men doesn’t work in kidmin.
2. Will my kids have fun?
It’s the first question many parents ask their kids when they pick up their kids, and if the answer is no, most likely something went wrong and there’s a good chance they won’t be back. Play for kids is their work, so there needs to be fun children’s ministry. It’s essential.
Fun can start well before the kid enters your area. You can use kid friendly colors and decorations. Kid-friendly music, and I’ve seen several churches have costume characters during a series to welcome kids.
One church I visited had a Minion greeting kids during their “At the Movies” series. My son couldn’t wait to go back to the “Minion Church.” He was sold before he ever walked into the room.
Once the kids enter the children’s ministry area, it is a good idea to have games available for kids to play. Whether they are video games, big games, or board games, there needs to be something for children to do. I personally prefer games where kids can play together and connect with each other and their leaders. Kids need to have fun to know that you really like them.
The first church I served in didn’t have any games and barely any room to place them. So, I played funny videos and music videos for the kids to watch during pre-service.
Remember, the first 15 minutes are crucial and the first few minutes a kid spends in your area is most likely what is going to sell them on coming back.
Your services should be fun too. I’ve used some curriculums that were so focused on teaching the content, there was no time for fun. You can use music, games, jokes, costumes, puppets, videos, magic and more. Whatever it takes to get a laugh and keep them engaged.
What’s the difference between watching an hour-long political speech and an hour-long stand-up comedy special?
Humor.
They’re both talking about issues you care about, but you can be hanging on to every word of a comedian and falling asleep to the politician. Kids with their shorter attention spans and greater energy are even more so. I’m not saying that you never get serious. Get serious, these kids’ eternity hangs in the balance, but also don’t be afraid to have a little fun.
3. Will my kids connect?
It happens all the time. A new kid comes in. They’re new to town or just new to your church. They don’t know anyone. And now, mom is gone. It’s a big room with lots of kids who all seem to know each other. They see games that look fun, but they need more than one person to play.
Only the most extroverted kids shine in these situations. Most of the kids coming through your door will be scared, anxious, or even lost.
To help them feel more comfortable, have some volunteers or even older elementary kids available to help connect with these kids. Introduce them to other kids their age and invite them to play together. Ask the kid if they see anyone they recognize. Usually just a casual connection can help a kid feel more welcome.
On rare occasions, I allow the parent to stay with their child, but I reserve this for the youngest of elementary kids. Many times, the parent will stay, but only for a few minutes until the kid gets over their fear.
Once service begins, ask the volunteer or other kid to sit with them and invite them to sit closer to the action. Otherwise, the kid may isolate themselves by sitting toward the back and alone. Many times, this is a sure-fire way for them to never want to come back.
If you can answer these three questions well, you’re far more likely to see that family return and then you and your team have an opportunity to disciple not just the kids but the whole family. It doesn’t take a lot of money, just some training, intentionality, and planning for your guests to love your church and to come back again and again.
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As a pastor you’re a shepherd. It’s your job to take care of your flock. In my own experience (and even in my writing) I talk about reaching out to new people and caring for them. However, Jesus gave us the example by sharing the parable of the shepherd who leaves the 99 to go after the one.